why am i never satisfied?
how is it possible to feel bad for challenging someone too much? is part of the relationship compromise lessening the extent to which one is oneself?
If thou must love me (Sonnet 14)
by Elizabeth Barret Browning
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,
"I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.
i know i have choices, and yet i make none.
how can i not feel trapped? i'm trapped by my own stagnation, my self-inflicted ossification! i don't have to work where i work! i don't have to be in this relationship! i don't have to get this degree! i chose these things. i made decisions. and i can decide again.
i suppose sometimes i get a little caught up in self-pity, but i am far from impotent. i need to appreciate my life more. and i do appreciate it.
it is a good life. it is my own creation. and it is evolving.
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